{"id":37,"date":"2025-12-27T02:57:53","date_gmt":"2025-12-27T02:57:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/?p=37"},"modified":"2025-12-27T02:57:53","modified_gmt":"2025-12-27T02:57:53","slug":"not-yet-not-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/2025\/12\/27\/not-yet-not-now\/","title":{"rendered":"Not Yet, Not Now"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The room is dim, the air is thin,<br>her breath a fleeting trace;<br>her weary eyes half-close again<br>against the lamplight\u2019s face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Her pulse drifts faint along her wrist,<br>a soft, reluctant beat;<br>the sheet lies light upon her bones<br>like mist upon the street.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She feels the quiet pulling her\u2014<br>a tide without a sound;<br>it beckons with a gentle hand<br>toward someplace unbound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So easy, now, to loose her hold,<br>to slip where pain grows small;<br>her body, emptied of its strength,<br>could yield and scarcely fall.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yet even as the darkness leans<br>to gather what it may,<br>a thought as frail as early frost<br>stirs faintly to delay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not bold, not loud\u2014no battle-cry,<br>no raging against doom\u2014<br>just one small turn within her chest,<br>a breath that shifts the room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She thinks of mornings not yet seen,<br>of windows washed in gold;<br>of teacups warmed by gentler hands<br>she meant, someday, to hold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She thinks of life\u2014not as it was,<br>but tender, thin, and near;<br>a quiet warmth, a distant hum<br>she\u2019d almost ceased to hear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And in that fragile reckoning,<br>her failing lungs obey:<br>a longer breath than she had planned,<br>a soft attempt to stay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It trembles in her hollow chest,<br>a petition made to air;<br>the kind that only those who\u2019ve brushed<br>the edge of leaving share.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Her fingers shift upon the sheet\u2014<br>the smallest living sign;<br>her pulse lifts once against her will,<br>a faint, insistent line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She does not know if she will last<br>another hour or dawn,<br>but something in her, worn and thin,<br>has not completely gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And so she gathers one more breath<br>though each one frays her so\u2014<br>a quiet vow, almost a sigh:<br>I will not go. Not yet. Not now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The room is dim, the air is thin,her breath a&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/2025\/12\/27\/not-yet-not-now\/\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Not Yet, Not Now<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39,"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions\/39"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/serena.lgbt\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}